The Staff:

All right, i suppose there's no point in hiding who we are any longer. We're proud of who we are, no matter what anyone says! Except Bernard, that dog, he hides his face in shame! The rest of us, however, are proud. In order that you, the user, learns more about the people behind the glories of superhamster, we have all filled out little surveys that will help you get to know us. first :

Rory the fiend 

It is Impossible, and I repeat, impossible, to attain any sort of survey or self produced work of Rory's that would tell you something about him. All i can say is what I've heard and what I perceive. Attempts to interview or even question this subject have ended in ugliness. Tremendous ugliness. It is not a happy thing, this Rory. All we have been able to deduce is that it has taken a liking to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and has a rare talent for painting. He is our idea man. Sometimes, in the evenings, we all sit around and watch him like some weird circus freak, recording his every move to help us in our creative processes. He is human, yet his mind is something else. We have detected a high intellect somewhere in there, wrapped up in layer after layer of madness and gibberish, and as soon as we squeeze a survey out of it, we'll slap it up here. Thank you,and may your life be free of Rorys.

Philip D.

Philip D, otherwise known as Phil, is the creator of Super Hamster. He, now speaking the the third person, has drawn every last detail of the series by hand, is the supervising art director, the story writer, the calligrapher, the head character designer and the unnecessary vulgarism provider. In the beginning there was him, and in the end there will be him. The photograph provided does not do him justice. It was part of an intricate and malicious scheme by the infamous Bernard W. to discredit and humiliate him publicly. When question arise pertaining to this photograph, Philip is known to say things like 'That swine!' or 'Bernard, that filthy rotten animal.' and many other more colorful euphemisms. As soon as we have finished censoring his survey we'll splash the news all over the headlines.

Bernard W.

Bernard does not have a picture because it was considered unfair and cruel to the rest of the world if his unhallowed face were to appear out of its sack and permanently on the internet. There lies far away a sealed tomb where a group of men once witnessed Bernard's accursed countenance and were struck down in fits and spasms of sheer terror and fear. He is not in high regard, that rotten weasel, yet he will still be given a fair staff profile, even though we all think he's a beast. He is however, extremely intelligent and tremendously useful so we can't do away with him yet. His computer knowledge is grand, his mouse handling techniques quite exquisite and his cyber art is also of top notch quality. And soon as anyone musters enough strength to give him a survey and then as soon as anyone feels like reading it or cares what he has to say we might put it up.

Chris Hayes-Kossman

    Being slightly isolated from the rest of the team, HK is basically to blame for Super Hamster. Were it not for his unique brand of sarcasm and crude, cheeky comments it would never have occurred to the artist, Philip, to create this comic at all. He is also the artistic consultant and the public relations person. At least, we think he is, and as soon as someone emails him in Australia to tell him that he'll probably get right to work. On that note, as soon as we e-mail him the survey and he fills it out we'll put it up here and you'll learn all about the glorious world of Super Hamster.

Benjamin "Jammin' " Rausch

Also known as Beans by people who know him, this character is the best damn artist we've got! His creative genius is unparallel and he, along with Phil, heads up the art direction and storyboard. A strange man with an equally strange obsession with beans, Ben has proven himself time and time again to be the person to say something bizarre. He is a big music fan, especially of Sound Garden and other such business, and whips some serious ass at play station games. Oft is he seen silhouetted against the setting sun, his chin in his hand and his arm on his bent knee. Though his habit may billow in the harsh winds of the canyons, he remains motionless. There are those who bless the Beans before bedtime for bringing them joy, and others, outside of the sanitarium, who smile and shake their heads at that brave, brave man. the end.

So there you have it. You may think we're all fools, but we're passionate fools! We strive to better mankind and improve what filth we have been left with! It's not about who's right and who's wrong; all these petty labels we apply to people, and all these judgements, are they not just so pointless? Are they not all just distractions from what really matters? What does really matter? In the end, nothing, so let us rejoice in the glories.

(Sorry about that gibberish, we just like doing things like that.) .