OK guys, i got a few drawings of mine scanned in and i'll put them up in the gallery as soon as - no wait, we don't have a gallery. ah, shit, i'll just make one - and as soon as i've done that the real guff will begin, mate. There's an upcoming competition, and if you win you stand a chance to be mentioned on our page! Or something. Ok, one more thing:

Thank you, friend Philip! Indeed, if those pictures are any good then we may well put them up!

Up yours, Gary.

Ha ha HA! Ah, yes, good old chum. That, however, is not all! This section of the page is under my express supervision! In the near future we will be receiving the most cunning and ingenious little programs and graphics that you could ever hope for. Yes indeed!

I'm just going to leave, all right?

Ha ha HA! So amusing! So very very hilarious, you are. Chortle chortle. Here is a short list of what we hope to expect to receive soon:

1. The Black Man : a cartoon black man who takes offence easily and has large unsightly lips. ask him questions, and he'll get pissed off! Ho ho ho!

4. The competitions :     send us in your short stories, drawings or artwork. See description for details.

21. There is no description :   the competition will involve users designing their own bad guys and sendin them in, with a short description of who and what it is, and the winner will actually appear in Super Hamster!

7. Collection of short stories : a collection of bizarre and experimental short stories by our staff and users alike!

Hey Gary, you're fucking up the numbers.